Just One More Thing...

Don't get all over me for coming back for a brief minute...

I took Brendan's crib down yesterday. The one that was Alex's before him. The one that Owen and Brendan shared for the first few months of their lives.

I also packed away into the donation bag all of the cooler weather 2T clothes. And found the lamp I bought for Alex's nursery five years ago.

Then I went to pick up Alex from school with the twins. I let them run around on the playground for a bit, and put on my sunglasses, so no one could see me cry.

I'm Out...

I've decided to stop writing here. It's been a fun experience overall, and I really have enjoyed "meeting" all of you, but for a few months now, I've been feeling like this space is more of another obligation than an outlet.

I figured out a while ago that the times when I wrote the most were the times that I most felt like I was losing my grip, what with new babies, staying at home, moving to another country, and what not. So the less I write, the more you know that I'm doing okay. I don't feel the need anymore to get up here and prove to myself that I still have a voice in this world, in spite of being surrounded by Little People all day.

So this is a good thing. I'm going back to my original plan, which was to write privately about what's going on in my head and in my family, so I won't look back in 20 years with my typically sucky memory and wonder if this all really happened.

It's been fun. It really has. And there are those of you with sites I'll still haunt---- I promise not to lurk. I'm still keeping my email address (jcleaverdiaries@yahoo.com) open, so feel free to say 'hi' whenever.

See you around, chickies!!!!!

Katy

The other day I was late getting Alex to school. We were completely out of diapers, so I spent a good hour dressing everyone, loading them into the car, and driving to Costco--- because I buy diapers by the gross, literally. And of course I got distracted by the crab dip samples. And the book table. And the roll-up cargo pants (yes, I bought a pair of pants at a warehouse store. It was so very scandalous). So by the time we got out of there, I had 45 minutes to get back across town, feed the kids, get Alex's backpack ready, and get him to school.

And then I remembered that's why God invented Wendy's. As much as I hate the fast-food thing, it's saved my ass plenty on days like this. We ran into the house, I tossed nuggets on the table, and let the guys go at it while I put 12 rolls of paper towels away.

Of course, the kids took forever to eat, blah blah blah. When I got Alex into the front door of school, I saw one of the girls in his class go up to the office with the attendance slip. I could have chased her up the stairs, tackled her and ripped it out of her hands, but I thought that might freak her out. Instead, I did the proper thing and went to the office for a late slip--- something I haven't done since high-school.

When I got there, there were three other kids ahead of me, all waiting for late slips. Of course, the principal was the one handing them out, and with the keen empathetic insight into other people's moods that I've honed over the 17 years since high school, I could just tell she had a fight with her husband that morning, started her period, and ran over her dog on her way to work.

Mrs S: "Tyler, why are you late?"

Tyler: "Um, my mom..."

Mrs S.: "Speak UP, Tyler!!! Why are you LATE?"

Tyler (wetting his pants):"Um, my mom had a problem with the gas company, so she had to use her cell to call them, and she couldn't get a signal, so..."

Mrs. S. " Oh really??? Well, you need to tell your mom that she needs to do these things another time, and that she needs to get her act together and get you to school on time! Amanda--- what's your excuse?"

Amanda: "My mom..."

Mrs. S. "Your mom, too? What's with the mothers today? The both of you need to remind your mothers about how inconvenient it is to your teacher, and to me, when they can't get you here on time! They know better! And if you need me to call them right now to discuss this with them, I'm happy to do it! Ma'am, can I help you?"

Me (wetting my pants): "Um, yeah, hi, I need to get a late slip for my son...I had to get diapers, um, at Costco, um, everyone took too long to get dressed, um, the crab dip was so delicious, so I had to get more, and um, I fed my kids nuggets, but I did the drive-through, and, um..."

I should have just taken that little girl out when I had the chance.

Viva My New Career

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I'm going to do with myself once the twins are in school. It's still a couple of years away, but let me tell ya, entertaining three kids under five all day, like I do, would cause any mother to ponder her future--- post haste.

My main issue is that I'm not sure that I can get a work permit for occupational therapy here in Canada. There has to be a pressing need for my skills that a Canadian can't meet, according to immigration. And I'm shocked by the number of allied health professionals here in Ontario. Just this morning I read in the paper that 180 people, all physical therapists, occupational therapists, and psychologists, are being laid off in my area, due to financial cutbacks.

Considering I spent six and a half years and over a hundred grand in loans to get my master's degree in OT, I'm a little bummed.

The other night Ward and I were watching Idol (again. I resisted the show altogether until this season, and now I can't look away. Damn that Sanjaya.), and a commercial came on to recruit school bus drivers. We listened to how bus drivers get to stay home in the summer, and that they're home when their kids get home, blah blah blah. As an adult, certainly appreciate the (mostly) fine people with whom I will entrust my children to as they ride to and from school.

That being said, I don't know about you, but the kids in my school did nothing but taunt the these poor people, until they pulled the bus over to scream at us. Sure it was a little daring, but the bulging eyes and neck veins, the spittle flying from their lips, was more than worth the risk. I was sitting there, on the couch, thinking about how I'd rather poke my eyes out with a fork than put myself through that, when Ward turned to me and said,

"You know? Maybe you should..."

I cut him off before he could finish.

"What!? What? I should drive a bus? What don't you drive a bus, Dr. Cleaver? I worked as hard for my education as you did, and just because I'm not Mr. Big Doctor Man like you are, doesn't mean I get to be the one to drive a bus!!!"

So I was a little defensive...

Fast forward to yesterday. My friend Christine called:

"Hey! Jack (her son) saw the school bus that Alex will be riding next year, and he wanted to know if Alex was on it. So I said no, and he looked at the driver and yelled, 'Hey! That looks like June driving the bus!! Is that June?!?!?!"

I told my Ward all about it, and to say he was smug would be putting it mildly.

Guess I'd better start getting used to yellow.